JD’s Bachelor Steak

Now the second recipe men on this diet might actually be able to make (fire good). Steak when done the right way...

Materials & Supplies:

1. 1 sirloin steak ('nuff said)
2. Some inspired amount of Kikkoman soy sauce.
3. The cheapest red wine available (your returnables should cover it).
4. Actual garlic (You will discover, with some determined research, that it does not actually come from nature in powder form. Ask someone to find it for you -- it's worth it.)
5. A garlic-smashing tool (requiring a surgical strike into the kitchen aisle. be aware that they may have a more fancy name for it.)
6. A propane grill (fire good).

1. Five or so hours before dinner, assault both sides the sirloin with a fork with a wide-ranging, rapid-fire motion. We are looking for a tight pattern of 1/2" deep holes covering the whole target.
2. Smash the garlic onto a paper plate with the garlic-smashing tool. Throw out the paper stuff, keep the mushy stuff that smells like pizza. (You are not a man if you don't taste it and learn the lesson not to.) Slather the mushy stuff onto the top of the sirloin. We are looking for full, thin coverage here. You'll probably only need 1/2 of a whole garlic for this.
3. Put the meat on a plate, garlic side up. Pour equal amounts soy sauce and red wine on it and let it pool up on the top of the oversized meat. Put it in the refrigerator.
4. Halfway to dinner time, scrape the garlic to the side of the plate (a putty knife works fine for this), pour the juices somewhere, flip the steak and re-apply both.
5. At dinnertime, scrape off the garlic, pour the juices down the drain.
6. Turn on the grill on high. Apply the steak.
7. First: Searing. Give it about two minutes per side to sear the steak, sealing in the juices.
8. Second: Turn the heat down (a little) and cook to taste.