Russell's Great Scrambled Eggs

The secret is cooking the butter, and salting the uncooked eggs.

I beat 4-6 eggs in a bowl with a fork, really working them up for about 2 minutes (which seems like much longer). Then I set the eggs aside and heat about 2-3 tablespoons of butter in a skillet.

This is where the secret of life comes in.  Using medium heat, I let the butter melt and then the water that naturally resides in butter begins to cook off, leaving the solids.  In a minute or so, the solids have begun to cook, turning a sort of golden brown.  It is essential not to burn the butter, but with practice you can learn how to cook the solids, almost roasting them... in butter!  (There is still plenty of liquid in the skillet, but it is pure concentrated flavour at this point.)

When the butter is about ready I throw some salt in the beaten eggs, and whip them for another 15 seconds.  I have noticed that salt changes the eggs -- they begin to look more translucent and deepen in colour.
Then I pour the eggs into the butter and, using a wooden spoon, gently stir the mixture to make sure the eggs don't scorch.  Because the butter has turned very slightly brown, the eggs don't come out perfectly bright yellow, but I don't want them to scorch, which ruins the flavour for me.

When the eggs are nearly done (and the kitchen smells like my grandmother's house), I turn the heat off for the last 15 seconds or so, and continue to gently rake and stir the eggs, breaking up large chunks into smaller pieces. However, I never shred or maul the mixture.

Plate up these beauties and enjoy them, warm, moist, and absolutely delicious! And as far as I know, ZERO carbs.

I think the cooked butter would make anything taste better - I haven't tried cardboard or catfood, but I can't imagine that they would not also taste heavenly (relatively speaking).